Free Falling

You know that feeling when you are dreaming, and you feel like you are suddenly falling (this is typically the moment when I knee jerk into waking up)…well these past few weeks have felt a lot like that. They have been productive, chaotic, terrifying, and unfamiliar. There have been many moments where I felt like giving up. Change and conflict have always been things that made me uncomfortable, and the near future contains possibly a healthy mix of both…which has been hard to prepare for when you are already pretty downright exhausted. However, now that I have made it through some of the high drops of my emotional rollercoaster, I see some faint rays of excitement about what things are to come.

Looking back on the past few weeks, I have the reinforced belief that there is no one way to live your life in the right direction. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others, dreaming without action, and focusing on what makes things hard. We have no idea what happens after this life, and because life is so fleeting, it is essential to do what makes you happiest. It can be scary to make changes in your plan, and it honestly gets more frightening for me the older I get, but we need to continue to listen to our truths. Material things can come and go (and yes they can be great), but it is truly about what makes you happy and fulfilled healthily.

Do any of you have any advice for being brave in the face of change? Do you also have trouble with change? Thanks for listening, and I will chat with you all next week ❤

#RoughWeek

I will be the first to say this has been a rough week.

I have been exhausted, emotional and a bit all over the place. I was stewing in this weird state when I knew I had to share/talk to someone about it. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to open up for a multitude of reasons. You feel silly, you logically know that you “should” be fine, you don’t want to bother other people, but just as you wouldn’t hesitate to have a bandage for a cut or to ask for medical help, it is just as ok to open up about your mental space to loved ones and/or a therapist.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what value is created by sharing certain things, but once I do open up, I find that it is invaluable. Having an outside perspective (outside my mind) can help me break huge, scary, monster anxieties into smaller blocks. Even if it doesn’t being able to be in your real state with others is cathartic for me. I find that I frequently have defense mechanisms, or specific protective masks on, which it is exhausting, especially in times of high stress.

While my current real state might be highly anxious, tired and drained, I am grateful that I am in the presence of loved ones who not only appreciate me no matter the state but that fully inspire and embrace that truth wherever it may lay on the emotional map of my day to day life.

I am curious, for those who are reading about how you have dealt with sharing your anxiety or more difficult feelings with others? Has it helped you?

Either way remember you are not alone in your struggles, and it is ok to feel what you feel and be who you are every damn day!

See you next Thursday ❤